12 Things I Learned After 12 Straight Days of Disney World

This summer we spent 12 straight days at Disney World in July.  While we have been to Disney in the summer before, this was probably the hottest and longest amount of time we have ever spent there continuously.  After spending 12 straight days in inferno level heat you definitely start blurring the lines between what is reality and what is Disney.  These were somethings I picked up after our Disney sweat lodge experience.

1. In July, with a heat index over 100, if you buy a Mickey Ice Bar, you better be prepared for a brain freeze, because if you don’t eat it in about 2 minutes, it’s gonna be like Olaf IN SUMMER.
2. Illuminations seems to get shorter and shorter every time I see it.  The next time I go I think that if I blink I’ll probably miss it.
3. If there was a zombie apocalypse I would hide in the queue for Flight of Passage as the zombie’s would never get to the end.
4. I remember as a kid thinking it was the coolest thing taking a boat or monorail to the Magic Kingdom.  Now as an adult leaving the park on a hot summer night with thousands of your closest friends, I think of it as the seventh circle of hell.
5. While it kills me to pay $3.50 for a bottle of Dasani water, at the 3:00PM parade, it’s the bargain of the century.
6. I have never been so excited to see the “backside of water” on the Jungle Cruise as I was this summer, just so I could feel that cool mist.
7. Air Conditioning definitely boosts the profile of some of the less visited attractions as Carousel of Progress.  Our need for a quick A/C break allowed us to experience one of the highlights of our whole vacation, a random 40 year old man belting “It’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow” every time the scene changes at the Carousel of Progress.
8. Quite possibly the longest walk in a Disney Park is the walk from the beginning of EPCOT to the American Heritage Pavilion at 1PM in the summer time.
9. Thunderstorms are as constant as the Northern Star.  I felt like an army drill sergeant every time an incoming thunderstorm was coming in fast, and I was throwing ponchos to everyone yelling “Poncho up!”  Our family record from rain to fully poncho’ed was about 22 seconds
10. You are inundated with endless vendors for Mickey Bars, until the moment you want one.  Then they have all just magically disappeared.
11. Given Disney has started their surge pricing for park tickets, it is only a matter of time where they base the cost of bottle of water on the weather conditions.  “Let’s see sir, it’s 98 degrees outside with a heat index of 103.  Let me check my chart. That’ll be 10.50.  Have a magical day!”  What’s sad is that in those conditions they could probably double the price.
12. Disney is a truly magical place, and there is no place like it.  It’s amazing how fast the complaints of heat go away the moment they see their favorite characters.  The look on our kids faces as they meet them is priceless, and something no parent will ever forget.